XXXVIII – Roman Legions Went . . . Where?!

Dear Journal:

Well . . . we lost them . . . someplace.

What am I blathering about? Remember the legions that were recalled from the former Eastern Provinces? Well, the whole mob, ten legions, vanished into a mammoth fog bank on their way to Thrace. Now, fog is fairly normal around the coasts, but this mist was a monster in size, and wouldn’t go away. Go figure.

These legions were at full strength, six thousand men each, including auxiliaries and those foreign troops that had decided to become Romans. So, for the first time in Roman history, sixty thousand trained legionaires, and allies, vanished without a trace. To make matters even worse, if possible, search parties from Thrace had gone out, only to disappear as well.

I wasn’t tremendously amused, or pleased, by the information. One reason was that the nasty news was delivered while I was sound asleep. Now, I usually sleep about six hours a day, and spend my waking hours at my job. Governing an empire. Thus, when I do sleep, I don’t want to be disturbed, as that throws off my stride for the rest of the day.

I was snuggled down in a deep sleep, the three Mutts in their usual places around me, when a breathless Chamberlain woke me up with the news. The Mutts promply woke up, glaring at the messenger, and grumbling their annoyance.

The second reason for my displeasure had to deal with the fact that my credibility had just been compromised. No leader in the history of Rome had misplaced so many men at one time. If the public found out about this little disaster, my competence as Caesar would be questioned. My political enemies would seize the opportunity to try and force me out, and my plans for revitalizing Rome would be killed in infancy. That I could not allow!

Thus it was that, two hours later, a glum and sleepy eyed group had assembled in my study to assess the situation. The Lady, the old Senator, and Brother were all present, and their moods were as sour as mine. Tiny and his sisters had been sound asleep when we all came in, and they were mumbling and shaking their heads in sleepy confusion.

This is how the discussion went:

Lady – “How can a trained army get lost in a blasted fog?!”

Senator – “Slow down, missy! That fog isn’t average. Believe me, I should know. I’ve seen plenty of ’em in my time.”

Lady – “So you’ve said. Constantly.”

Senator – “Look lady! I’ve been around a lot longer than you . . . . !”

Me – “Knock it off, you two!! Brother? Any ideas?”

Brother – “Yup! I go there and get them out. I’ll take one legion and straighten out this mess!”

Me – “And . . . what if we lose you too?”

Brother – “Won’t happen! I need to be around to drive you crazy. Fairly easy, actually.”

Me – “Very funny!! I don’t like your idea, but I can’t see any way around it. Very well. Rescue them, and do it quickly! We don’t need this to endanger our work!”

Brother stood up and headed for the door, only to be blocked by a fully dressed Tiny. No way was Legion Mutt letting Brother out of that room alone! Wherever Brother turned, Tiny was blocking him.

GRRR . . . RUFF!!!

I watched and grinned. “Looks like you’ll have to take Tiny with you. Besides, I think you’re going to need Tiny’s canine nose to sniff out those legions.”

Brother sighed and nodded his head. “Very well, Tiny. You can come too!”

At that news, Tiny started wriggling and wagging his tail.

So it was that, a day later, Brother, Tiny, and six thousand Romans went in search of their lost brothers. Jupiter knows how this was going to turn out.

Chapter XXXIX

Advertisement