XXXIV – Roman CPR

Dear Journal:

Well, the mob arrived with due haste.

First in came the Mutts and Pups (the original three are referred to as Mutts, while their offspring are referred to as Pups, even though the Pups are full grown at this point; Tiny is just Tiny) led by Tiny. The Pups, and Tiny, headed for a cushioned corner, where they curled up and went to sleep. That is, the Pups used Tiny as a huge pillow. He didn’t seem to mind though. The Mutts ambled over to my chair and settled down in their usual spots.

Next came the Lady, followed by little Brother (henceforth known simply as ‘Brother’), the Senator, and the Tribune. Everyone poured themselves some wine, took their seats, and the debate commenced. This was going to be a lively discussion.

The old fart spoke first. “You’re out of your mind Caesar. Right? Please tell us this scheme of yours is minor brain fever that will cure itself?”

“No.” I replied. “I had brain fever when I took this job in the first place. Remember – you all cheered the idea of turning a simple fishmonger into Caesar. Now, pay the price.”

Chuckles were heard all around. Brother spoke up at that point.

“Umm… you do know the military problems of this plan, don’t you? Counting reserves and conscripts, I have roughly sixty thousand men available to fight. And that’s stretching resources to the limit. If the rest of the legions decide to contest your plan, we could get really hurt. Run over, in fact.”

I looked him eye to eye. “Let me see if have this correct. Rome is the largest, most populous city in the known world, with one and a half million people settled here. Sixty thousand is incredibly small compared to those numbers. There must be retired legionaires available, as well as young men anxious to fight. Raise those numbers to one hundred thousand men.”

Brother glared at me. “That’s gonna’ be a little tough to do, but I’ll get you your one hundred thousand….somehow.”

I smiled at him. “Look. I’m not trying to be a hard ass here, but the citizens of Rome better start fighting for Rome. They are going to have to develope a sense of civic responsibility and pride if this plan is going to work. Otherwise, they’ll just say ‘Hail Caesar’ to the next fool stupid or corrupt enough to take this job. Also, to sweeten the pot, and make your job easier, I’m doubling Legion pay only to those legions at Rome, and giving bonuses to any citizen who will fight to protect their city. The legions returning home will have to earn that pay boost by switching to our side.”

Brother nodded his head. “Y’know….that just might work at that.”

Lady was the next to speak. Looking slowly around the room, she finally fastened her gaze on me. “The nobles may not go for your downsizing plan. No profit in it.”

I stared right back at her. “Why won’t it work? The Provinces we’ll be disposing of are already a financial and military drain on the Empire. The Nobility should see profit, since they won’t have to finance legions to hold nonproductive provinces. Plus, with a smaller empire, we can pay off the mercenaries and foreign conscripts and send them on their way. More money for Rome.”

The Lady smiled. “A bit simplistic in theory, but it might work. You may have to make examples of the few dissenters, though.”

I shook my head. “No. No killing unless there’s a revolt. The Nobles have to feel safe enough to voice dissent. That’s how a Republic works. I just have to work past the troublemakers.”

Next, I turned to the Tribune. “I’m officially giving you command of the Praetorian Guard, answerable to no one else except the Senate, and myself.”

The Tribune, for once, was at a loss for words. he stammered and stuttered a thank you, and then lapsed into an embarrassed silence.

I gently laughed. “You’ve earned it. You might work on your oratory ability though. Stammering commands won’t work very well in the thick of things.”

The Tribune smiled and nodded.

I turned my attention to the group as a whole. Taking a deep breath, I outlined my plan for the new Roman government. “The way I see it, we’re going to have to use a variation of the old republican system.”

The plan was outlined as follows: Two Proconsuls would make up the top level, to handle Empire business. Three Consuls at the next level would govern the City, and aide the Proconsuls as required. The Senate would be next, to represent the citizens of Rome. Magistrates would be chosen from Senate ranks on a rotating system, So every Senator would have to be up on Roman law. The Military would be next in rank, charged with protecting Rome and the Empire. They would answer to the Senate.

The old Senator spoke up again at this point. “You’re really looking to start a civil war, aren’t ye sonny?!”

“Gods, I hope not! Remember, this is not going to be easy. Rome is comotose. We have to wake her up.” I glanced around the room at my co-conspirators. Not a peep. “Okay then! Let’s go talk to the Senate!”

Chapter XXXV

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Published in: on November 12, 2009 at 2:04 AM  Comments (1)  
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  1. […] – Roman Holiday And Shocked Mutt XXXII – Roman's Giganto Mutt XXXIII – Rome's History Lesson XXXIV – Roman CPR XXXV – Roman Hallways, Tiny And A Wall XXXVI – The Roman, Brother, Tiny And Jerusalem XXXVII – […]


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